Quiet

It’s been quiet around the blog for a few weeks, and truth be told, it’s been quiet around my house as well. I’ve had some blog posts prepared, but it just didn’t feel right to share them during this time of uncertainty. I couldn’t bring myself to pretend that everything was okay when it wasn’t.

While things have been quiet in the literal sense, my mind has been the complete opposite. Constantly thinking, worrying, and stressing, all while trying to tell myself to stay positive, to be calm, to stop worrying…that everything is going to be okay.

As I walked out of the doctor’s office two weeks ago the only thing I kept thinking to myself was, “I’m 28. I’m only 28.” I tried to think positive and tell myself that it was “no big deal,” however, I was completely blindsided by the news my doctor shared. My thoughts turned to my sweet husband and all of our adventures, as well as the many adventures that are planned over the next few years–I didn’t have time for this news. And my heart broke when I thought about my family and how I would tell them what was going on–I knew that was going to be the hardest part.

After the appointment I called my mom and tried not to cry, but as I told her the situation and mumbled the words, “Mom, I’m really scared…”, I broke down. I’ve admitted on the blog before that I feel like I have too many places to explore and not near enough time, and now that fact was more real than ever.

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Between the appointments and the stress over the last two weeks I’ve had time to reflect. To think about life and how precious it really is. I’ve had time to think about my family and friends, and about my sweet husband and how supportive and loving he is, even in times when I probably don’t deserve it. I’ve thought about how many amazing adventures I’ve had over my short–yes, short–little life, and how grateful I feel for all of those opportunities.

I worried about telling too many people the details of my situation as I didn’t want them to stress, and I didn’t want people to think I was feeling sorry for myself. Even on my worst days, I know that others have it much worse than I do, but that didn’t stop me from feeling scared and anxious. I couldn’t help but think that people my age should be going in for an ultrasound to celebrate life and a pregnancy, not to diagnose a tumor.

As an adrenaline junkie, I’m always searching for the next thrill; but this news rocked me to my core, and for once in my life I was truly terrified.

I try to keep this blog a happy, positive space, spreading my love of travel with like-minded travelers, but today I’m sharing a part of this personal journey because life isn’t always beaches and endless adventures. Life is incredibly precious and circumstances can change quickly.

I’m hoping that by the time our Christmas trip to Maui rolls around, the hardest and scariest parts will be behind us. Based on my appointment this morning, it sounds possible. I’m looking forward to heading back to my favorite place in the world with my favorite person in the world to celebrate a clean bill of health, and most importantly to celebrate a new-found appreciation for life and the amazing adventures that follow.

Life has taken on a whole new meaning…Tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone.

Kalalau Trail-1 Quote

Leave a comment

    • November 25, 2014 / 4:37 PM

      Hi Jennifer,
      We have very high hopes that it will end in a positive outcome. The last few weeks have been very scary and I will be incredibly thankful just to have it all behind us.

      • November 25, 2014 / 4:38 PM

        Sending you all the well wishes! Keep doing your thing. 🙂

  1. November 25, 2014 / 4:37 PM

    I cannot imagine what you are going through. I hope there is treatment and that you keep finding joy in the things that you can–like Hawaii. You’ll get through this.

    • November 25, 2014 / 4:42 PM

      Hi Juliann,
      The unknown has been incredibly difficult. The nurse said it best this morning when she said it’s a game of “hurry up and wait.” 🙂
      The doctor this morning gave me a lot of hope for a positive outcome so now it’s a wait to confirm the (hopefully) positive results. 🙂 Keeping my fingers crossed!! I’ve got to get this out of the way as Maui is less than 50 days away 😉 (not a joking matter, just trying to keep a positive/happy attitude). Thanks for your kind words.

  2. November 25, 2014 / 5:44 PM

    Remember that there are people in the blog sphere that truly appreciate you letting them in your personal journey … I am here, we are here 🙂

    • November 25, 2014 / 8:13 PM

      D-
      Your kinds words have brought tears to my eyes. Thank you so very much. To be honest I didn’t know if I was going to hit ‘publish’ and when I did I was so embarrassed as I sort of felt like I was bearing my soul and laying it all out there. Your kindness and support have overwhelmed me with gratitude. Thank you. 🙂

  3. November 25, 2014 / 6:22 PM

    Thoughts, hugs and prayers coming your way.

    • November 25, 2014 / 8:19 PM

      Belinda, I truly appreciate it. Thank you so much for your support.

  4. November 25, 2014 / 6:26 PM

    I “liked” the post but actually I hate the post for the bad news it imparts. Maui is good for lots of things, one of them is to refresh the spirit, restore balance and brighten perspectives. E ‘ola. Pomaka’i

    • November 25, 2014 / 8:25 PM

      Sweet Maxwell and Tom, thank you for the blessings. I agree. Hawaii has always centered me and made me realize what is truly important in life. I always leave the islands feeling refreshed and energized and I’m looking forward to our visit. I feel like this time our visit will have a deeper and more significant meaning. It is coming at the perfect time. 🙂 Thank you again for your support.

  5. November 26, 2014 / 6:35 AM

    my thoughts and prayers are with you

    • November 26, 2014 / 10:46 AM

      Thank you, Karen! 🙂

  6. November 26, 2014 / 9:17 AM

    I have enjoyed reading your blog and I imagine I will for many more years to come! Prayers all will be well. Just think of the Mai tai you will have in 50 days!! You are stronger than you know.

    • November 26, 2014 / 10:51 AM

      Thank you for the prayers and well wishes. I enjoy having you around here, and appreciate your words of encouragement. 🙂 That Mai tai is sounding delicious right now!

  7. November 26, 2014 / 10:41 AM

    I am so sorry to hear the last couple of weeks have been so difficult. I hope everything is okay, please keep us posted.

    • November 26, 2014 / 10:54 AM

      Hi Leigh,
      It seems as though we’ve been friends from the beginning. 🙂 I will keep everyone updated. The biopsy results come in Monday or Tuesday (dang Thanksgiving weekend) 😉 and the doctor said that he has very high hopes of a positive outcome. I’m just ready for the surgery so I can put this all behind me. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you have the happiest of Thanksgiving’s!

  8. November 26, 2014 / 3:59 PM

    Aloha Krystle,
    Whoa girl! I am floored – and scrambling for words – must be positive – hope this is all just ‘wasted worry’. In that positive direction: When will you be on Maui? I would like to meet my favorite blogger. Yes, I would like that very much.
    A Hui Hou,
    Wayne

    • November 29, 2014 / 1:58 PM

      Aloha Wayne,
      Keeping positive thoughts as well. I should have my results on Monday… I’m just ready to have this whole thing behind us. 🙂 We will be in Maui the second week in January and cannot wait!! Are you over in Kauai (our most favorite island in the world?) 🙂

  9. November 28, 2014 / 9:54 PM

    Krystle,

    My heart is seriously aching right now, as I read your comments on insta you have been on my mind…I read your blog and just started to cry…krystle you are so strong I’ve seen you get through a lot back in the days and I know you will fight through this! You are beautiful inside and out don’t be afraid at all to put your emotions out there! You have every reason too and every reason to break down and cry! Stay strong and I’m sending positive thoughts and prayers your way!! Love you friend I’m always just a call away if you need anyone to just listen and let you cry, scream, yell or talk to sweetie!

    • November 29, 2014 / 2:06 PM

      Hey Britt,
      Thank you. The last three weeks have been tough and very emotional, to say the least. When the doctor told me she found a lump, it felt like I got punched in the stomach. I was completely blindsided. My family and I were hoping it was just a cyst, but then the ultrasound confirmed the tumor… we will get the biopsy results Monday and we are all hoping it’s not cancerous. I just want to get through surgery and move on from this situation as soon as possible. 🙂 Thanks for your sweet words. I’m so lucky to have amazing friends and such a supportive family who I can lean on in times of struggle. We will get through this and have an even greater appreciation of our blessings. 🙂 love ya girl! Thanks again for your kind words and support!!

  10. November 29, 2014 / 9:24 PM

    I appreciate your time and following my blog- you’re in my prayers and I know you have faith so all will go as planned. The best lessons of love and life come through difficult times. I know you’re strong and full of love. Keep the Faith~

    • November 30, 2014 / 10:30 AM

      Thank you. I completely agree that the best lessons come through difficult times, and it makes the good times that much sweeter. This situation is completely out of my control so I might as well stay positive and hopeful. 🙂 Thank you again for your prayers and support.

    • December 2, 2014 / 1:26 PM

      I love you too! Thank you for being there every step of the way. 🙂

  11. December 5, 2014 / 10:02 AM

    Hope you get your wish and you get to spend christmas celebrating with your favourite person in your favourite place!

    • December 5, 2014 / 11:44 AM

      Thank you. 🙂 We are about a month out from our vacation, it will come at the perfect time.

  12. December 5, 2014 / 10:11 AM

    Hi Krystle. Thank you for liking my blog. We too live to travel, but as my hubby is having chemo at the moment, and I have health quirks, we have to adapt. I don’t know what your condition or prognosis is, but please don’t give up on the adventures. Ours help keep us sane!

    • December 5, 2014 / 11:51 AM

      Hi there.
      I’m sorry to hear about your husband’s chemo treatment. I hope the prognosis is positive. I love that you continue to travel throughout it all, you are right, that’s the positive thing to “look forward to” on the rough days.
      My doctor found a mass in my breast and we found out it was a tumor through ultrasound. After the biopsy, it was confirmed that the tumor was benign. I know that I am one of the lucky ones, and am incredibly grateful. I am having surgery next week to remove the tumor and can hopefully heal up before our next trip.
      This last month has been incredibly stressful. SO many tears from all of the nerves. I knew (regardless of the diagnosis) that I would overcome whatever was thrown my way, and it was never a “death sentence” but it was so incredibly scary.
      I will be praying for you and your husband. 🙂 Thank you for taking some time to share your story and for your encouragement.

  13. December 10, 2014 / 2:00 AM

    I seem to have missed this post and I never miss your posts! I am so glad to hear you are well and really sorry you had to go through this terrifying experience. Keeping your thoughts positive no matter what does wonders and I am so looking forward to your Christmas posts from Maui 🙂

    • December 10, 2014 / 9:58 AM

      Thanks my friend. It was an eye opener and I am so so SO grateful for my health. We stayed positive (even though some days were MUCH harder than others), and I’m happy that it will all be over after surgery this Friday. Maui is coming at the perfect time. Have a great day!!!
      -Krystle

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